Some people are not self-reliant with happiness. For some of us who are, it is quite strange. This post is a note to self when I am surrounded with unhappy people.
- Think Long Term: Their unhappiness is temporary. They are not bad people. They are just unhappy. Lets think about it. Do you remember why they were unhappy an year ago? Whether they were unhappy in the first place? Life went on. Think that this time is temporary too and it is meaningless. You now have begun to gauge the authenticity. It is getting easier and easier to understand whether it is real or just first world tantrums of the fortunate. You have begun to notice that 95% of the times it is the latter. No one died because they did not get a scoop of ice cream. So, dont worry about it. This will pass. Distancing your ear from your brain is the best idea. Think about your work. Think what you want to achieve in 10 years. Keep thinking about the future. You want to write a book and you want to capture carbon dioxide from air. So, you should keep thinking about a device that traps carbon dioxide. Weird. But it does work. The utopia is a great place to be.
- Find a time of the day for yourself: Sleep an hour late or wake up an hour early. Do something you love. Read. Listen to music. Pretend that you are the best in what you do and think about what you will do then. You usually pretend that you have written 100s of books and you are an accomplished writer. You go to book readings, signings, and events in your mind. Again weird but works. Be yourself for that hour. Don’t feel guilty about not being there for someone else. Don’t worry they can go one hour without cribbing to you. Don’t tell anyone! That is your time. Be officially busy. So that the world does not get to you.
- Take up something unachievable: You are teaching yourself JAVA. You are learning French. You are planning to make a carbon capture device as part of your PHD thesis. You want to be a fiction novelist so you study that. You are teaching yourself microcontrollers to make something for Internet of things. You have written 80000 words already on “Hybrid Vehicles”. You make pitch videos for your business ideas. You are not an idiot! You know all this cannot be done at once. You know you are not going to succeed in many and not enough in few. But you should keep going. Because doing all the above is better than being with humans. It is so easy to not see an unhappy face and be worst at French. Also easy to not hear anyone disrespect you and write something that no one will deem readable. The process is satisfying. And it is unachievable goal. So you can keep going. And you should
- Focus on people who are happy: You have a six month old son. That guy smiles at you every time he sees you. Your heart melts. The heaviness that you carry on your head melts away. He reaches out to you extending his tiny arms in joy. You sing to him. Read to him. Dance for him. The glint in his eyes as he looks at you is phenomenal. You should think about that all the time. Especially when you are in the grievance cell with unhappy people. You should think about your son hugging you when you are having meaningless issues getting hurled at you. There are people who are happy to see you. Think about them. People with a smile for you. Who deem you important enough to share experiences.
- Create Content: Write something. Create a video. Paint a picture. Draw something. Solve a problem. Make a device. Creating content gives you a sense of accomplishment
- Finally! Count your blessings: You have a hot water shower at your house. You should think about the people who get only cold water in their showers. Then people who bath without a shower. Then the people who do not get enough water for bath. Just enough to drink. Then people who have to walk to a common place to get drinking water. Then the people who have to walk miles for it. There is absolutely no reason you should vent out even if it is in a blog. You do not have to fight daily battles. You are fortunate. You have a good job. Great Friends. Enough money to satisfy your needs. You have access to good food, clothes and shelter. You have a life many would long for. Can a bunch of inverted smiles ruin this fortunate life?